Shifting Perspective

But while Peter was walking on the water, he saw the wind and the waves. He was afraid and began sinking into the water. He shouted, “Lord, save me!” Then Jesus caught Peter with his hand. He said, “Your faith is small. Matthew 14:30

This passage serves as a beautiful reminder of God's ability to empower us during difficult times. I often feel like Peter walking on water throughout this caregiving journey. I am taking each day as it comes, striving not to dwell on the storms of adversity, but rather placing my trust in God as my sole anchor along the way.

In March 2024, my mom chose to stop chemotherapy to prioritize quality of life. Choosing hospice care. I had begun retirement planning considering retiring at 57 or 62, but my mom's illness shifted my focus away from planning towards be present with her. Time feels fleeting, and I take each day as it comes, praying for more time, yet finding peace most days. Currently, I'm reading a book titled "I Heard God Laugh."

The timing of this content aligns well with my current life stage. The first chapter focuses on preparing for life's inevitable storms, highlighting the power of prayer in facing challenges. I encourage all caregivers to prioritize a prayer life and consider forming a prayer circle, as it can shift your perspective. Since my mother's diagnosis, my own prayer life has strengthened, allowing me to approach retirement planning proactively while managing my debt without overwhelming sadness.

Amidst this challenging time, I would like to share some insights and encouragement for fellow caregivers who may be navigating a similar journey. Having your loved one in hospice care. 

What is hospice? 

Hospice care is a type of health care that focuses on the palliation of a terminally ill patient’s pain and symptoms and attending to their emotional and spiritual needs at the end of life.

Selecting hospice care is a challenging decision, as its primary purpose does not revolve around recovery from the illness.

What does the process for hospice look like? 

Evaluation

The first step is an evaluation of the patient's condition. This includes reviewing their medical records, asking about their symptoms, and reconciling their medications.

  • Care plan
  • Once a care plan is established, the patient enters the comfort care stage.
  • Hospice services
  • Hospice offers a variety of services, including: 
    • Social work and counseling
    • Advance care planning
    • Home health aides
    • Chaplain services
    • Medical equipment
    • Volunteer services
  • Hospice levels
  • There are different levels of hospice care, including continuous care, which may be necessary during a medical crisis.
  • Respite care
  • Respite care is short-term inpatient care that can provide temporary relief for the patient's family or caregivers.
  • Pre-hospice care
  • Pre-hospice care takes place before a patient enters a hospice facility or receives services at home. 

When your loved one chooses hospice care, it signifies a focus on comfort, dignity, and quality of life rather than curative treatments. This can be an emotional time, but understanding what hospice involves and how to navigate this journey can help you provide meaningful support.

1. Accepting the Decision

  • Understand Their Choice: Hospice is about honoring your loved one’s wishes for how they want to live their remaining time.
  • Emotional Responses: It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions, including sadness, relief, or even guilt. Allow yourself to process these feelings.

2. Understanding Hospice Care

  • Focus on Comfort: Hospice prioritizes pain relief, symptom management, and emotional support.
  • Support Team: A multidisciplinary team (nurses, social workers, chaplains, and volunteers) will care for your loved one and provide resources for you.
  • Home or Facility: Hospice can take place in a home, nursing home, or hospice facility, depending on needs and preferences.

3. Supporting Your Loved One

  • Be Present: Spend quality time with your loved one, listening to their wishes and sharing meaningful conversations.
  • Respect Their Needs: They may want to talk openly about their feelings, memories, or even fears. Be a compassionate listener.
  • Honor Their Choices: Whether it’s deciding how they want to spend their time or creating a peaceful environment, respect their desires.

4. Taking Care of Yourself

  • Lean on Hospice Resources: Take advantage of counseling, respite care, and other services provided by the hospice team.
  • Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a support group about your feelings. You don’t have to go through this alone.
  • Practice Self-Care: Rest, eat well, and allow yourself moments to recharge emotionally and physically.

5. Preparing for the Journey Ahead

  • Learn About the Process: The hospice team will guide you on what to expect, including changes in your loved one’s condition.
  • Cherish the Time Left: Focus on creating moments of connection, whether through conversation, laughter, or simply being present.
  • Anticipate Grief: It’s normal to grieve before and after your loved one’s passing. Hospice often provides bereavement support for families.

6. Celebrate Their Life

  • Create a legacy project, like a memory book, video, or letters, to honor your loved one’s life and impact.

While hospice focuses on providing comfort at the end of life, it is ultimately God who determines when that time arrives. I am truly thankful for hospice care, as it guarantees that my mom receives everything she needs to manage the pain of the progrossion of the illness.  Don’t focus on death, focus on living.  Take out your camera or phone and capture moments with your loved one.  Here is a short video with my mom holding her great grandsons 


https://share.icloud.com/photos/0f01SXMSFKlHNoMmApuarfahg



Below are a few resources 


https://hospicecoaches.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com


https://www.thepalliativecoach.com/?


utm_source=chatgpt.com


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