Spouse Caregiving
“Find a good spouse, you find a good life— and even more: the favor of God!”
Proverbs 18:22 MSG
I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part"
I have been married for nearly 30 years, and we have truly lived out each vow we made to one another. The most difficult one has been dealing with sickness. Witnessing my spouse confront a serious illness is incredibly challenging.
In the past decade, my husband has faced multiple serious health issues, resulting in five hospital stays. Fortunately, he has triumphed over every challenge. My time as a caregiver has been somewhat limited lately. I often joke with my husband that his life is like a cat with nine lives.
Although my caregiving role is not extensive, I occasionally assist him with making appointments, attending appointments and dealing with insurance issues. Recently, I reached out to our insurance provider to confirm my coverage for a new medication that my husband needs to take.
I liken caregiver roles to an assortment of cakes with various flavors. Each caregiver's role is unique. For instance, some family caregivers manage every aspect of their loved one's care, which is my experience with my mother. However, in other situations, there may be multiple caregivers who share different responsibilities to provide support for their loved one.
Here are some facts about spousal caregivers
Approximately 12% of family caregivers in the U.S. provide care for a spouse or partner.
Spousal caregiving is most common among adults aged 55 and older, though younger caregivers also exist.
Spousal caregivers are more likely to experience physical and mental health issues, such as chronic stress, depression, and anxiety, due to the intense and long-term nature of caregiving.
They are at a higher risk of neglecting their own health needs, with studies showing reduced participation in routine healthcare and physical activity.
Spousal caregivers often face financial stress due to lost income, medical expenses, and caregiving-related costs.
Many must reduce their work hours or leave the workforce entirely, which can affect retirement savings and future financial security.
Emotional strain is common, with feelings of isolation, grief, and guilt often arising, especially in cases of chronic illness or dementia.
Women are more likely than men to take on the role of spousal caregiver, but male caregivers are increasing in number.
Many spousal caregivers lack sufficient support. Only 30% of caregivers report receiving consistent help from other family members or friends.
Access to respite care, counseling, and support groups can greatly improve outcomes for spousal caregivers, but many don’t seek or receive these services.
Tips for Spousal Caregiving
I recently took part in a podcast titled Grace in Struggle- Caregiving for a Spouse. It was a panel format with four wives sharing experiences and tips on spousal caregiving
Below are some tips on preparation for providing caregiving for a spouse:
Education
- Be proactive: Start compiling all relevant information in one location, such as a shared email account. If you maintain separate accounts, ensure that you exchange all important details.
- Learn from one another: For instance, if the husband manages the bills and financial affairs, he should educate his wife. It's essential for both partners to be prepared and knowledgeable for any emergencies.
- Understand your spouse's diagnosis, symptoms, and progression. This knowledge helps you anticipate future needs.
- Attend workshops, webinars, or support groups specific to the illness (e.g., Alzheimer’s, cancer, or Parkinson’s).
- Advance directives (e.g., living will, healthcare proxy).
- Power of attorney (POA) for medical and financial decisions.
- Long-term care insurance or financial plans for caregiving costs.
- Budget for caregiving: Include medical bills, home modifications, and caregiving supplies.
- Government programs:
- Medicare or Medicaid for healthcare costs.
- Veterans Affairs (VA) benefits if your spouse is a veteran.
- Family Caregiver Alliance (caregiver.org)
- Disease-specific organizations like the Alzheimer's Association, American Cancer Society, or Parkinson's Foundation.
This is great and useful information that I can use. Thanks Tee for all you do for the caregiver community!
ReplyDeleteGreat info! Thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteThis is great information Tee, I love how detail specific you are about the various things caregivers need to have in place and the importance of self care.
ReplyDeleteThis was good information, very detail specific on what needs to be in place with emphasis on making sure the caretaker receives self care.
DeleteGreat tips, thank you for sharing these practical tips that can be initiated before illness hits. And thank you for the reminder of the covenant agreement that was entered into when we say I do ! 🙏🏽
ReplyDelete