Grateful Caregiver

Self-Care Looks Different for Everyone As caregivers, we hear the phrase “don’t forget to take care of yourself” so often that it can start to feel overwhelming. But the truth is, self-care doesn’t have to look like the picture-perfect images we see online. It doesn’t always mean a spa day, a vacation, or hours of free time that many of us simply don’t have. Self-care looks different for everyone. During my caregiver journey, my self care included going for walks, having a good night sleep, or taking advantage of outings with friends.  However for some of caregivers, it’s enjoying a hot cup of coffee before the day begins. For others, it might be taking five deep breaths in the middle of a tough moment, going for a short walk, or listening to your favorite song. Sometimes self-care is as simple as saying “no” when you’re already stretched thin, or giving yourself permission to rest without guilt. The important thing to remember is this: self-care is not about how it looks on the ou...

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV My journey as a caregiver came to a close on April 14, 2025, when my mother passed away after a four-year battle with breast cancer. I miss her every day; countless reminders of her surround me, and I am eternally grateful that God entrusted me with the role of caregiver. Currently, I am in a season of grief, navigating the new reality of my life without her. The loss of my mom has created a significant void in my heart. However, through my faith, I am reassured that God is a healer. Engaging in grief counseling has proven invaluable during this challenging time. As I reflect on my caregiver experience, I often ponder: What Did Caregiving Teach Me? Being a caregiver imparted numerous lessons on me. Here are three key takeaways: Caregiving is a calling, not my identity. In life, we are called to fulfill many roles, but we must be cautious not to define ourselves solely by those r...

Have you ever heard of the saying “Once an adult, twice a child”?    As a family caregiver, you often find yourself in a parental role. It can be quite challenging to care for your parents. Your love and concern for their well-being must take precedence over any discomfort you may feel. Recently, I had to persuade my mom that taking her medication was crucial for her health. Below is a scenario and how the caregiver handled the challenge.  Background: Mary is an 82-year-old woman who has high blood pressure and early-stage dementia. Her daughter, Lisa, is her primary caregiver. Mary has always been independent and dislikes being told what to do. Lately, she has been refusing to take her blood pressure medication, insisting, “I feel fine—I don’t need it!” How Lisa Handles It: Empathize & Validate: Lisa sits next to her mother and gently says, “I understand, Mom. It’s frustrating to take pills every day, especially when you feel fine. But this little pill is what keeps ...

Psalm 121:1-2  "I lift my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth". February 2025 marked four years since my mother received her diagnosis. It's been nearly a year since she entered home hospice care. This journey has been a rollercoaster of emotions, filled with both highs and lows. Each day is an adventure.  During the tougher moments, it can be hard to stay positive, as thoughts arise that this might be the end and I am losing her. In those moments, tears often flow. The day I wrote this blog, was a low day . According to mom’s current symptoms she is transitioning, basically the disease has taken over, and now her days are numbered.  How do you navigate the pain when a loved one faces a terminal illness that is taking away their life? From my personal experience, the key is to embrace the situation. Pain is a part of life, no matter how you want to run away from it or bury your head in the sand, the pa...

“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭116‬:‭1‬ ‭NIV‬‬ It was a workday, and the temperature was below freezing as I made my way to the office. After getting dressed for the day, I drove to the subway station. Once I parked the car, I bundled up and hurried across the parking lot, trying to escape the bitter cold. However, as I walked, I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable in my breathing. Before reaching the entrance of the train station, I turned back and returned to my car, overwhelmed and in tears. Feeling helpless, I called my boss to request permission to go home and asked if I could work remotely. At that time, teleworking was still a novel concept in the workplace. We had designated telework days, while the rest of the week required us to be present in the office. However, if someone had a reasonable accommodation that includes teleworking working from home could be approved. As a caregiver, it's essential to prioritize your own...

“Find a good spouse, you find a good life— and even more: the favor of God!” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭22‬ ‭MSG‬‬ I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part" I have been married for nearly 30 years, and we have truly lived out each vow we made to one another. The most difficult one has been dealing with sickness. Witnessing my spouse confront a serious illness is incredibly challenging. In the past decade, my husband has faced multiple serious health issues, resulting in five hospital stays. Fortunately, he has triumphed over every challenge. My time as a caregiver has been somewhat limited lately. I often joke with my husband that his life is like a cat with nine lives.  Although my caregiving role is not extensive, I occasionally assist him with making appointments, attending appointments and deali...